Guess what ladies? I win. That’s right. I am the worst mommy ever.
I am nominated for this award several times a day by my three year old, Mini-ion #2. It generally comes in conjunction with my saying no to something, like slurping Nutella straight from the jar or running with scissors. I’m all for natural consequences, but I’d still like her to have two functioning eyes.
I know many of you will be jealous of my worst mommy ever award. I’m sure you’ve been nominated for, and striven to achieve it. I’d say my keys to success revolve around the sheer number of times per day I’m nominated. I had no idea I’d get nominated for even the little things, like making her go to the bathroom (so she doesn’t pee in her pants) or insisting she wear shoes to play in the snow
At this time I’d like to thank all of those that have helped me achieve this honor. First to my own mom, who proudly hung the faxed version of “World’s Meanest Mom” ditto to her fridge. Of course my father, who encouraged her to “be all she could be”. Next, Dear Husband, who is likely grateful I’m the worst mommy ever, so I hopefully get it all out of my system so I’m not the worst wifey ever. And finally, Mini-ion #1 and Mini-ion #2, who every day find new and creative things that I have to say no to, like hitting each other in the head with the Bible or playing the “fight game” from opposite sides of the couch. Without you two, I’d have none of this in addition to the giggles, snuggles, hugs, head butts to the stomach, giant leaps on to the small of my back, kisses and general fluctuations between the feeling of I’m the luckiest mom to what path in the road did I take in my life to end up here.
Tell me, have you been nominated?