My Uncle Tom’s funeral this week and it was as heartfelt and genuine as he was. The chaplain from VMI led the service and spoke about my uncle in a way that inspired laughter and tears from me. One phrase he said about my uncle really stuck with me, that he lived a life of nobleness.
What a great thing to be said about someone.
On my quiet 7 hour drive back home (because dear husband stayed home with the mini-ions) I thought a lot about that phrase and all the ways my uncle was honored at his service. Which got me thinking about my own life and my future funeral service.
Prior to having children, I had short term and long term goals. I revisited and revised them frequently, as appropriate, but I had a plan and a vision for my life.
Since having the mini-ions, I let go of that constant evaluation and planning, in a good way, to just enjoy the days that I have with the idea that the long term goals for my life will work themselves out. If you know me prior to the mini-ions, this may completely shock you (as I think many of the ways I’ve changed since having the mini-ions have left my parents with their mouth hanging open). But on that long drive home I realized it was time to give myself a little evaluation. That even though my life had significantly changed, having a long term life vision shouldn’t change, just what it is, does.
The hard part is the actual goal setting. I can remember in the “working days” always having trouble setting my goals during my evaluations. What are the words I want said about me at my service?
Nobleness? That would be great, but that ship may have sailed.
Advocacy. I want to be an advocate for my children and other children in my community.
Generosity. Probably not financially (unless I start making money hand over fist with this blog!) but with my time and my abilities. That I can help others with the talents and gifts I have.
Love. I want to, at every crossroad in my life, choose love over fear.
Those are my long term goals. Those are the words I want to represent me at my funeral service. I also hope they walk out of my funeral service to “Welcome to the Black Parade” by My Chemical Romance, a la Love Actually.