My Uncle ignored his controlling wife, proving to be most defy-aunt

Yeah-finally Christmas time!!  I love the excitement, hope and joy I feel this time of year.  A majority of it is “self-inflicted”, but I’m happy to add fun to our lives in the spirit of Christmas.

Christmas used to be a time of negotiation for us.  At one point, both of our families lived nearby and we would travel between the two of them between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  Over the last 10 years, the dynamics of both families has changed, many of us have moved and last year we were really faced with a conundrum.

We had moved to our current house.  Our closest family had moved 10 minutes away.  We thought we had it all wrapped up – of course we would all spend Christmas together.  That turned out to be a little short-sighted of us.  Turned out, we weren’t the only people they wanted to spend Christmas with (wait, what?).

We had two options.  We could push our agenda, and if they didn’t bend to our will, feel hurt and send guilt about how it all turned out, or we could stop, re-evaluate what we wanted out of Christmas and build our Christmas around us.  Which is what we decided to do (we just didn’t think guilt and hurt felt very Christmasy).

So we each took some time to think about what we wanted out of Christmas, even made a list: Family, being home so the Mini-ions could wake up at their house Christmas morning, spreading joy, good food, going to Christmas eve service, stress-free, have fun.

It may be considered selfish, but we decided to put our immediate family first, make decisions that were best for our family, and then we would be happy to fit in our extended family in whatever way made sense for them.

We really wanted to take control of our Christmas and take responsibility to have the feelings we wanted to feel.

We made a plan of what we thought would be fun:  Christmas Eve morning, we would deliver cookies to our neighbors.  After that, we would snuggle up and watch the Christmas specials that I’ll dvr over the next few weeks.  Then, the traditional family Christmas eve dinner (shrimp scampi) and Christmas eve service afterwards.  The mini-ions would go to bed, dear husband and I would enjoy a drink by the fire.

Christmas morning we’d wake up, run downstairs to open presents.  After presents, eggnog pancakes.  Play with our toys and have Christmas dinner at our house or somewhere else.

Any family or friends are welcome to join us.  And you can tell us as you decide to drive over, just bring more food.  If you’d like to invite us to your house for one of those, that’s fine too, if it works for our family, we’ll give it a try.  Just give us some notice so I don’t buy food.

Last year it worked really well.  Other than Mini-ion #1’s stomach virus, it was a really great Christmas.  We’ve made some tweaks, but we like the traditions we’ve started and we’re looking forward to another joyful Christmas.

This entry was posted in family and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to My Uncle ignored his controlling wife, proving to be most defy-aunt

  1. aviets says:

    We’ve always approached Christmas the same way. Outlining our priorities and doing what’s best for our family made for very peaceful, joyous Christmas memories! -Amy at

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s